do you promise to love your sushi until death do you part?

I had the pleasure of joining Blaura, her new hubby David, their friend Mike and Ms. Leslie for an evening of sushi (on the really hot plates Leslie and I got them for their wedding). No, we didn't go out to some fancy Japanese resty and order to our tummy's content. Instead we made sushi ourselves. I have to say this has got to be one of my new favorite activities! I can't wait to get myself a rolling mat and go to town...Watch out Sushi Roku! I'm really good at making sushi--David can attest to that.

This was my first meal with Laura and David since their wedding. I was lucky enough to enjoy two pre-ceromonial meals. And this one was super exciting because their super hot (and black) dog, Oscar joined, we talked and laughed a lot, David informed me (because he's the best pilot ever) that "if shit goes wrong at take-off you're fucked," and Laura played the banjo...talent, she's got it.

Reader, you never see me getting mushy. You've seen me strange, emotional, cryptic, charming, psychotic, and obnoxious, but never mushy. Well Laura and David make me full mushy (they must be magic). They're very happy and very cute...and I feel genuine happiness for them. They are so much fun to be around and I'm sure that because they make their own sushi their love will last forever. Even though I'm late I still have to say it...HAPPY WEDDING LAURA AND DAVID!

mmm mmm mah baby's got a secret

I'm obsessed with secrets. I can't keep them, that's for sure. I guess this makes sense seeing as how I wake up in the morning ready for my gossip fix. I type fiercely waiting to read about someone's private moments and watch them spill all over the 'net in a matter of minutes.

Since we're talking secrets today, I have a few to share. My first, I love swag...but is that really a secret? Who doesn't lust for free stuff? It's become my new found hobby to find a product or location I like and manage to get it or tests its services free of charge. I do it with a smile and that charm that you all have come to adore (wink)--there it is again. Of course all of this is in the name of business so it really isn't as "low class" as it could be.

My other secret, I am so interested in celebrity sex tapes that I don't know what to do with myself. I don't consider this porn. Porn isn't nosey, celebrity sex tapes are. Celebrity sex tapes are unforgiving, strategically marketed, and so invasive--porn is not. I never had the chance to see "One Night in Paris" and I don't think I want to. I might catch something. But I did watch the Collin Farell tape...HA. And most recently, I watched the trailer for Kim Kardashain's tantilizing tape. HA. I love it. Some of the things these people say is crazy. I end up repeating it for days and laughing hysterically with each utterance. "Oh yes, you are my breakfast, lunch, and dinner darling" as said by Mr. Farell. I'm not a weirdo, just into other people's secrets.

I don't have many secrets. I have a big mouth so most people know everything about me. I like it that way. My sex tapes won't end up on the internet (*that was just for fun, I have no sex tapes)

je besion de s'enfuir paris

This is my 100th post here on Chuntress...exciting, huh?

Well it's odd that today, I'm my 100th post, I'm feeling the most numb. I've been going on for a while now about how I should run away. Well I haven't publicly stated this on "le blog," but I've made mention to those in my immediate friend circle. I think running away would do me some good. I'm at a strange point where I love my lifestyle some days, but other days I hate it--the partying, the emptiness, the loneliness, the bad finances, my decisions, my living situation, my new found objectification of men--all of it. I stand by previous posts, I, Black Swan, will run away to Paris.

In other news, I've discovered a new love in music, Amy Winehouse. She's soulful, retro, real, and peculiar all at the same time. I suggest you give her a listen. Her music has made me nostalgic for a life I've never lived. I really don't think anything is wrong with wanting to revamp your life. Why not now? I'm on the brink of my mid-twenties (and I feel it everyday), I have no real commitments, and I should do as much as I can in this life. I'm starting my change next week with a haircut...minus 2 inches. Methinks this will be tres chic--indicative of a new me.

Happy 100th post to me, le chuntress...

Paris will receive me well (HA).

chitter chatter

I'm getting better at weekend blogging. Since I have no ambition to do anything anymore, this makes sense. I like to get up on Saturday, make coffee, grab a magazine and zone out until the evening where I freak out about not having any "real plans." I then go on to say that:

a) my life sucks
b) i'm lonely
c) this would be better if i lived somewhere else
d) i feel gotic
e) i wish my friends were here
f) i hate men
g) why can't life be simple like when i was in high school
h) i hate people
i) i want a drink
j) i'm over this, i'm going to bed

Crazy. Mixed emotions.

Saturday blogging is fun. It's like Saturday cartoons, only I'm in complete control. I'm starting to like things this way--me in control. When I'm in control (and have lots of coffee) I avoid freak outs.

bye bye broken heart

Last we "spoke" I was going on about how I learn new things about myself everyday. Perhaps this is my week of self-actualization. A veil has been lifted from mine eye and I'm pleased to announce that I have the male species pinned! Ok, I'm exaggerating a bit, but whatever the case I've gained clarity on my relationships/interactions with men.

I think all girls have a general idea of who's who when it comes to men, but it takes years (if you ask me) to accept and embrace this intuition. You know if a guy is good or bad for you within 24 hours. However, you'll justify him in every possible way you can to make him seem "right." You'll kind of mold him--make light of those things that you know are going to burn you in the end, just so you can envision him being "the one."

I've become a bit of a cynic in my old age and more so, I believe I've become hardened to the behaviors of men. Sometimes I get sad about this, because I feel as though an endearing part of me is gone. But on the other hand I thank jebus that those days are behind me. Ugh. No more crying, stressing, waiting, wondering, wishing, hoping. I've learned to take a man at face value. If his demeanor is off when I meet him, or if I'm lead to question more than one thing that came out of his mouth, he's probably just a one-night stand. He could be one of those guys who hangs around for a few months, takes me out, makes me laugh, gives me a reason to get pretty on a Tuesday night, gives me hot sweet love, and says nice things, but I know he's nothing more than that. I like this. I am really enjoying accepting an asshole for what he is. I feel in control and a lot less vulnerable than in days past. I mean did I really think that "Hotender" could be my boyfriend? And what about "Southern Hottie?" Oh and let's not forget "NBF..." All of these experiences were fulfilling in someway and I can now accept that and not want more or go home and cry about that shit.

I'm also beginning to question the idea of "the one." I'm sure he exists and most women can attest to this. But there is a part of me that is content with knowing he'll never show up and I'll just have my two retarded best friends to last me for the rest of my life (I know most of you are cringing at thought of my immaturity never really "dying"). This is not to say that I don't believe in love...I do. Many of my friends have found it and I'm happy for them. My day will come, but I'm in no hurry (I’m so fickle). Some day my "prince" will come. But I wouldn't be surprised if he were a skinny hot gay who really wanted to watch The Hills with ONLY ME for all of eternity...

so long no cuddle frog

I'm learning new things about myself everyday and today I learned that I hate dropping people off at the airport. I've always acknowledged that it brings a bit of saddness to my afternoon, but this time I realized taking friends or family to catch a flight is so sad. I feel very lonely afterward.

I guess I should tell you the who, what, when, where and why...

One of my long-time buddies, Noah came to visit me over the long weekend. I moved here four and a half years ago and since the day I arrived I've anticipated his visit. So, it finally happened. We had a great time. In fact, I think in the seven years that we've been friends, this was some of the best time we've ever spent. I always appreciate his company, his conversation, his insights, and his genuine friendship (he has good hair too). I felt like we got to know each other a little bit more. We partied on Friday and Saturday nights, we stayed up for late chats, watched cartoons and ordered pizza, "myspaced," shopped, had a great dinner at Delfina, brunched at Elite and even took a walk to Land's End (a cliff) to watch the sunset, but he never gave me a cuddle. I'm still trying to get get over not getting a morning cuddle.

At any rate, Noah is a great friend (cuddle or no cuddle)and it was refreshing to spend a weekend with him. Maybe that's why I got so sad about dropping him at SFO this afternoon. He got out of the car, we hugged and said farewell then, he headed inside. I instantly broke out my piece of shit cell phone to dial Ralph in order to achieve some sort of interaction. I was afraid of my car getting quiet. He didn't answer and neither did the other two friends I called. So I rode in my car--the same song playing as when Noah was got out--and tried to keep from getting emotional (not emo). A rush of saddness and loneliness came over me. Are you crying yet? Sheesh, I'm crying just typing this (not really). Perhaps I had a really meaningful weekend with one of my favorite people (I gave him a new nickname--frog) or I hate dropping people off at the airport, I haven't decided. I can be fickle, so I don't know what my excuse will be today. Wait I know why I got sad, no cuddle...

billie's jeans

It's another rainy day, but I'm ok with that.

I arrived at work today and synced le pod into my machine as I always do. My listening taste varies. Some days I'm in the mood for Madge (no surprise, I'm sure), Mickey, or trance thumping, other days I want to listen to the solemn tunes of Death Cab, or those nostaligic beats of old from Billie, Frank, and Ella. But today I wanted nothing more than Michael Jackson. I think he's a total weirdo these days, but nothing gets me more amped than Billie Jean. I have to argue that this is the best song ever...yes EVER!

There's a lot of great music out there, but this song is timeless really. Have you ever met anyone who doesn't like Billie Jean? If ever I'm out, gettin' "crunk" someone plays this song and everyone gets so excited! If a party sucks, play MJ--you will get results. I once told Amanda (who is back in less than a week...yay) that whenever I get married (if I do) Billie Jean is going to be my wedding song. She said that's not a very appropriate for a wedding song. She's right, but I still love it.

Here's a little story: In July 1986, there was a little program called the Victory Tour. I was only two, but strangely MJ ignited a fire within me at a young age. He came on singing Billie Jean and broke into his famed moonwalk which caused this young child to jump up and down and scream, "whooo hoooo!" My mother told my aunt that MJ had a strange hold on children (future events revealed her clairvoyance). By three y.o. my bedroom walls had posters of Jacko, and my "Puff-a-lumps" record player blared the sounds of Thriller on vinyl.

I heart Billie Jean, eventhough she's not my lover...


MJ Moonwalks (click here)

show your cards

While my twenties have at times seemed to turn me into a rigid, negative, selffish, cynic, I have a lot of soft spots (want to try me--wink wink). I get great joy from sending (and receiving) letters, cards, thank you notes, and so forth. So, I'm awful exciting that it's time to pull out my fancy Holiday card spreadsheet!

Before meeting up with a friend last night, I took a trip to the MoMA store. I browsed for a good half hour before I came across the holiday card section. Two display fixtures sat toward the back of the store gleeming (i'm serious). It was perfect. There were so many interesting cards to choose from. One box featured hot pink reindeer on a silver backdrop. Another opened up into this cut out "enchanted forest." I decided this year, that I would search for a holiday card that simple, yet poignant. There at that MoMA I found my 2006 holiday card! If you are lucky and on my list you shall receive one. And you're going to love it...it's so "domino."

I also found a card that had me "in stitches." It was a vintage photo of a young boy, possibly from the 60's. It seemed as though the photo had been maniuplated (photoshopped, y'all), so the child wore lipstick and blush. He sat in front of a Christmas tree and the above caption read: Everyone Loves A Little Fruitcake During the Holidays.

I hope someone sends me that card.

I'm excited to send out my cards this year. More excited than I was last year. My list has grown and I'm much more savvy about this activity. I'd love to believe that people will be enchanted by my card, but it will sit with the others from family, distant relatives, and friends--which is ok. I will be pleased and the holidays are about giving, so give me joy and get on my Holiday card list, pronto!

shhhh, it's sleepy time

I'm in Riverside and it's not to my surprise that I had a difficult time falling asleep last night. I usually can't fall asleep in unfamiliar places right away. So as I was dosing off, I began thinking about a conversation that I had had earlier that evening with my very good friend (and new mommy), Emalee. We were speaking about her sweet baby (he was 10lbs. at birth) and how often he sleeps. I began to tell her that one of my most rewarding activities is putting my little ones (the children I babysit) to bed.

It goes something like this...

There's been chaos or near chaos all evening, but once the kids finish dinner and have baths they're good to go. I lather them with sweet smelling cremes, give them fresh diapers, and select the cutest "jammies" in the drawer (I like to pick the ones with feet). Once they are in "jammies" I hug them and tell them they are so cute! By now I have a warm bottle ready --mind you these are my kids age 2 and under--so I grab the "baba," "bobbie," "bubby," whatever and a cozy blankie. I usually dim the bedroom light (one of the children likes a lullaby cd), swaddle the baby, settle into a large chair, give the baby his/her bottle and rock back & forth, back & forth, back & forth.

I'm sure none of this sounds like riveting information on child-rearing, but I get such joy out of these moments. It's quiet time and the babies always look so peaceful. It usually takes the little ones about 10-20 minutes to knock out, and once they do, it's to their crib they go. I'm not typically a sentimental girl (emotional, but not sentimental), but it's this moment that makes me realize why people fall in love with their babies. They're great when they're awake yes, but they're so trusting & peaceful at sleepy time.

new discoveries

It takes a long time to distinguish those things that you genuienly enjoy from those things that are, just ok. I've made a few new discoveries lately. I'm getting more in tune with what I do and don't like. Since I often wallow in a lovely little place called negativity, I'm going to avoid telling you what I dislike and spend some time talking about what I am enjoying these days.

Music: Currently enjoying the crass lyrics of Mikey Avalon (itunes download) & the Marie Antoinette Soundtrack

New Found Passion: I have two--deep v-neck tee's from American Apparel & Voluspa Candles (scent Persimmon)

New and Oddly Fulfilling Pasttime: Getting up alone on Saturday, making coffee and reading Vogue

New Found Treat: Cheese & Herb Croissant from Myth Cafe ( i really enjoy their coffee too)

New Discovery (that comes with age): It's ok to disagree wtih someone to their face & day drinking (less of a hangover)

New Libation: Grapefruit Mimosas

tag, i'm it

I've been tagged by Amanda to, "name 10 of life's simple pleasures that you enjoy the most." So, here goes:

1. an evening at the ballet
2. clean sheets
3. learning French
4. morning coffee chats that spill into the afternoon
5. a good book
6. day light savings
7. citizen cake for cheering up
8. the smell of gardenias and honeysuckle
9. pebble beaches
10. sunday brunch

*I really wanted to mention how much I love adding to my card collection, but the number was 10 not 11.

Now as instructed, I must pick ten people (or less to do the same).

I tag: Nicholas, Paul, Hannah, Artemis, Christina & Ralph...(and anyone else reading this)