sunday psychosis

It's an odd Sunday. I have undoubtly spent my Sunday engaging in what some might label as odd behavior. It is now 2:10pm and I am still in my pajamas. I have cleaned my bathroom, washed every (all 4) dish in the sink, polished my bedroom floor, dusted the entire apartment, swept the hallway and living room and tended to went laundry. I have also successfully read half of the May issue of Vogue, drank two cups of coffee, arranged my underwear drawer (by color and style), and posted one complete (and fairly lenghty) blog entry. I attribute all of my cleaning and organization (there is always more to be done) to my wanting to feel in control. I believe I've touched on this issue in the past. By cleaning, arranging, colorizing, organizing and completing things I feel in control.

I spent the first two hours of the morning looking out of the bay window in the living room (with my coffee & Vogue) and listening to Edith Piaf on le pod. During those moments when I wasn't sipping or reading I was romanticizing thoughts of living somewhere else or just being somewhere else at that moment. I've been doing that a lot lately. Perhaps it's because I have no job so I'm left with a lot of time to entertain potentially lethal thoughts. This is probaby indicative of some sort of change heading my way. A lot of people told me not to expect some great moment where everything comes to me. I consider myself a realist for the most part and I'm not one to wait for "the next big thing." But I guess I can argue that something feels different here. And I think some big thought is brewing in my brain (I just don't know what it is yet). I only wonder when this does happen will I have to tear down my apartment building then rebuild it in order to gain control of all the change?

worthy investment (banker)...

I'm on a roll. And this could be in conjunction with the fact that I will (as of Friday) be unemployed and I have to do something to pass the time. So blog number three today. It's all about a new "character." His name, "the Banker*." He's new on the scene. Actually that's a lie (I'm good at telling those). I met him back in February during a night of self-procured cocktails (red bull vodka)...ouch.

So we've had four date nights. Some friends have been candid about letting me know that the Banker and I are "dating." I say we've been on dates. This is not to say that I am opposed to dating, I just don't think we are officially dating yet because we haven't done either of the following:

a) had a Friday or Saturday night sleepover which turns into Saturday or Sunday morning paper/Vogue/coffee outing
b) run an errand together, i.e. grocery shop together, car wash, pick-up dry cleaning

Basically when we get coffee together we're an item. HA! I should be careful about what I say in the event that he either, someday reads this (because we fall madly in love and I divulge my guilty passion for blogging) or does a background search and finds that I have a meaningless blog that entertains those who don't talk to me about my life's craziness everyday.

So all that to say this...he seems interested...very interested. And I'm really beginning to take to it. I called him last night...HE HAS YET TO RETURN MY CALL. I fear the usual, he's lost interest (or he's on a business trip).

*I'm obsessed with the fact that he's an investment banker as I've been dying to date one since I was 18.

chitter chatter

I'm getting better at weekend blogging. Since I have no ambition to do anything anymore, this makes sense. I like to get up on Saturday, make coffee, grab a magazine and zone out until the evening where I freak out about not having any "real plans." I then go on to say that:

a) my life sucks
b) i'm lonely
c) this would be better if i lived somewhere else
d) i feel gotic
e) i wish my friends were here
f) i hate men
g) why can't life be simple like when i was in high school
h) i hate people
i) i want a drink
j) i'm over this, i'm going to bed

Crazy. Mixed emotions.

Saturday blogging is fun. It's like Saturday cartoons, only I'm in complete control. I'm starting to like things this way--me in control. When I'm in control (and have lots of coffee) I avoid freak outs.

new discoveries

It takes a long time to distinguish those things that you genuienly enjoy from those things that are, just ok. I've made a few new discoveries lately. I'm getting more in tune with what I do and don't like. Since I often wallow in a lovely little place called negativity, I'm going to avoid telling you what I dislike and spend some time talking about what I am enjoying these days.

Music: Currently enjoying the crass lyrics of Mikey Avalon (itunes download) & the Marie Antoinette Soundtrack

New Found Passion: I have two--deep v-neck tee's from American Apparel & Voluspa Candles (scent Persimmon)

New and Oddly Fulfilling Pasttime: Getting up alone on Saturday, making coffee and reading Vogue

New Found Treat: Cheese & Herb Croissant from Myth Cafe ( i really enjoy their coffee too)

New Discovery (that comes with age): It's ok to disagree wtih someone to their face & day drinking (less of a hangover)

New Libation: Grapefruit Mimosas

can i holla at chu?

ERRRRGGG, very uncool way to begin my tuesday. i was "attacked," but a dreadlocked something as i was making my way to starbucks (would have rather had peets) for my morning coffee. i expressed the fact that i was in a hurry, i don't give out my phone number, and i didn't want to talk. i thought i rid myself of the guy, but lo and behold when i walked out of "bucky's" there he was--clad in a camoflogue hoodie, green hat, and jeans. i was on the phone with my beloved mother and tried to make the call seem more important than it was. he stopped me and asked, "can you talk now." i responded with a quick "no, i'm on an important call and i need to get into work." he left...thank jebus.

the point of this rant, is because i'm tired of being approached by men who are clearly not my style or type. just because i'm black doesn't mean i want to date a guy in a hoodie with rims on his lexus. in fact, i don't care about that. he'd probably just want to sleep with me then loaf off of me...been there, done that and i'm not doing it again. i know it's horrible for me to sterotype a group of guys, but why is every black man that approaches me so FUCKING AGGRESSIVE. i like assertive, not obnoxiously agressive. look, no means no. i'm not interested in you tryin to "holla." BLARG...

tag, i'm it

I've been tagged by Amanda to, "name 10 of life's simple pleasures that you enjoy the most." So, here goes:

1. an evening at the ballet
2. clean sheets
3. learning French
4. morning coffee chats that spill into the afternoon
5. a good book
6. day light savings
7. citizen cake for cheering up
8. the smell of gardenias and honeysuckle
9. pebble beaches
10. sunday brunch

*I really wanted to mention how much I love adding to my card collection, but the number was 10 not 11.

Now as instructed, I must pick ten people (or less to do the same).

I tag: Nicholas, Paul, Hannah, Artemis, Christina & Ralph...(and anyone else reading this)