that's my robe

In honor of Friday, it's only right that I grace you with a trip into this crazy head of mine. I babysat last night and once I had the girls down I called Amanda. Suddenly I was stricken by the thought of wearing someone else's bathroom. I burst into giggles as I said, "Wouldn't it be weird if Sara came home and I was sitting on the couch wearing her bathrobe?" Amanda, who was in a saucy mood, tried to ignore me, but responded with a very unaffected, "uhh yeah." I could tell she didn't want to talk, so we hung up.

But once I tip-toed into our quiet apartment around 10:45, I saw the soft beige light streaming from the cracks of Amanda's door. I decided to revisit this topic of bathrobe. Sadly, however, I erupted into an almost uncontrollable stream of laughter (I had tears ya'll) once I begin speaking. I envisioned the face of the bathrobe owner. Just think, you get home from dinner and you find the individual you left to watch your children sitting on your couch, casually donned in your bathrobe. How weird is that? And then when that person leaves, what do they do, say, "hang on, I need to put my clothes back on"? So, is the person who owns the robe supposed to act like nothing is wrong with this picture? This freak-o was sitting in your house pretty much naked. No wait, naked under your bathrobe... Weird, weird, weird, but insanely funny.

Now I must tell you, as funny and as unrealistic as this sounds, I've seen it happen. During my psychotic NYE weekend, my partner in crime (who will go unnamed to protect his pristine reputation), another crime partner, and myself spent some time indulging at W's den. We were all shocked when Partner A emerged from W's bathroom, wearing W's BATHROBE (and I have no doubt that he was naked underneath)! It was so awkward, that we just began laughing.
I was mortified, because I was really into W at the time. And in retrospect I'd say my mortification was warranted, as wearing someone's bathrobe is getting awful close to wearing someone's skivvies, in my book.

I feel like the bathrobe is very personal. The only time it isn't is in a hotel, but even then you can still obtain that intense feeling of ownership. At least I do. But that could be because I want to own everything and in turn rule the world.

then who's robin?

Today I've decided to touch on something that I haven't addressed for some time now--sexual encounters.

Imagine you are hoping to seduce this (who you think at the time) hot guy. You've both had a long day at work, followed by dinner, some decent conversation, and a few glasses of wine. And while you know you shouldn't, you invite him into your apartment. You chat a bit more trying to remain cool and collected, when inside you just want this fool to stop talking and take off his clothes. Then it happens that odd moment where you want to kiss him, and he wants to kiss you, but you don't want to seem like a tramp by making the first move. And almost to perfection, you simultaneously move in for the kill (kiss). It begins with innocence, but soon turns into the opposite. Before you know it you're straddling this "hot" guy, he's grabbing you in places that aren't for random grabbing, and you're saying things that you hope no one ever hears. Everyone is really into this by now, so you remove your top and your pants standing sheepishly in your skivvies. Then he fixes his vision, runs his tongues across his bottome lip, flashes you and intense grin and says, "Holy woo-ly Batman."

At the time you ignore this and engage in some of the best sex you will EVER have. However, it becomes routine to pre-coital activity. You continue to ignore it. Yet, six months later (now that the stint is very much over), a close friend brings it up (constantly) and you begin to think, "Holy woo-ly Batman"? What the hell is that? Who says that before sex, who says that during seduction..."Holy woo-ly Batman?" Who says that period?

Maybe he was into role play, and was hoping you wouldn't mind donning a cape and some sexy black boots? Or maybe the sex was so great that you didn't mind letting Batman, Robin, or even the Joker join in? You decide.