my dad said...

Yukilynn, one of my besty's from way back (she makes very rare appearances on my blog) had me doubling over with laughter a few weeks ago. We got into one of our usual conversations about how our father's are a special pair. They practice so much of the same behavior--dramatic, judgemental, selffish, but in the end, down right comical. At any rate, this fueled a conversation about what we like to call, "Disneyland Dads." What is a "Disneyland Dad," you ask? Well let me enlighten you.

Disneyland Dad--the father who comes by one random weekend and promises his child a trip to Disneyland not this Saturday, but the one after. Two Saturday's later there is the kid in a Mickey Mouse t-shirt and shorts wearing a Mickey hat waiting on the couch for Disneyland Dad to arrive. He never shows up, but the kid continues to tell his/her mother, "My dad's coming and we're going to Disneyland." Poor thing.

McDonald's Dad--the dad who promises his kid that he will come to their school and present him/her with McDonald's for lunch. McDonald's Dad shows up, but he brings lunch at the wrong time. He brings it at 10am where it is left in the office until the fat secretary brings it to the child's classroom. By lunchtime, the Happy Meal's contents are cold and soggy. If McDonald's Dad brought nuggets, he forgot the sauce so the child is forced to use school ketchup, not the Fancy Ketchup that McDonald's serves. Oh and on a sidenote, the soda is watered down.

When I get my paycheck/settlement Dad--This dad is ghetto, especially if he's "Settlement Dad." He always promises his child toys. It usually sounds something like this, "When I get my paycheck/settlement check, we can go to Toys R Us and you can get anything you want." The poor kid tells everyone things like, "My dad said that I can go to Toys R Us on Saturday and get whatever I want." Yeah too bad the kid never sets foot in the toy store, because when the dad gets his check or settlement he's out doing god knows what with those funds.

These are the most prominent, but there's also "When I get my car fixed Dad," "Tell your mother to take it out of her child support Dad." Trust me if you're a product of a broken home you probably know exactly what kind of characters we're dealing with here. I think these definitions are hilarious as does Yukilynn. Perhaps its because we've both lived these things first-hand. Don't people always say that one should make light of a troubled situation?

dlisted quote of the day (a few days later)

My God, even 3k miles away from California I can't stay away from Dlisted. I'm sitting at a 'bucky's on 5th Avenue. But who cares. Read the prophetic words of mk.

(About Britney's weave)

"Does 7-Eleven have a salon I don't know about?! Who the hell puts that girl together in the scalp department. That thing looks like it's put together with saliva and rubber bands."

-Michael K.

ROFLMAO! The people of NY must think I'm nuts.

dlisted quote of the day

"I don't understand why these chicks including Xtina love to look like slutty carrots."

--Michael K.

Who knew carrots could be sluts? I love it. The thought of a vegetable being a whore just kills me. Oh god...imagine it slutty broccoli? hahaha

canoodling?

Ok it's no secret that I am an avid reading of some p.o.s blog called, dlisted. Puh-lease who am I kidding, dlisted is number one of my list! That said Michael K. is always so good about posting celeb happenings, more specifically their love lives. Whenever I read a post about a new couple I get grossed out and annoyed. Why do I continue to read that which makes me sick? Because a "source" always describes a new couple as "canoodling."

WTF? What is a "canoodle?" It makes me think of Annie's Bunny Pasta. The Chedder flavor. Yum. But really how many times have a read, "a source says the two were seen 'canoodling' at the club. They were holding hands, locking lips, and everything. They certainly weren't shy about whatever is going on between them." WHAT? Canoodle...chickencanoodle soup...canoodles with red sauce. I think I hate, no, I know I hate this word. If I'm not thinking of dish of carbs and simple sugar, I imagine two idiots in the back of some club rubbing noses. EW.

Do you have any thoughts on the "canoodle?" It's making me sick. I'm going to play a game for the remainder of the week and count how many times I see a gossip post which uses the forbidden word...gasp!

dlisted quote of the day

In it's most pure form...

"...Damn. Alright then. I wish I had 10 bathrooms. More bathrooms equals more toilets equals moore pooping. Pooping is fun. What am I, 8? Don't answer that. "

-MK

*Amanda gets it.