sunday psychosis

It's an odd Sunday. I have undoubtly spent my Sunday engaging in what some might label as odd behavior. It is now 2:10pm and I am still in my pajamas. I have cleaned my bathroom, washed every (all 4) dish in the sink, polished my bedroom floor, dusted the entire apartment, swept the hallway and living room and tended to went laundry. I have also successfully read half of the May issue of Vogue, drank two cups of coffee, arranged my underwear drawer (by color and style), and posted one complete (and fairly lenghty) blog entry. I attribute all of my cleaning and organization (there is always more to be done) to my wanting to feel in control. I believe I've touched on this issue in the past. By cleaning, arranging, colorizing, organizing and completing things I feel in control.

I spent the first two hours of the morning looking out of the bay window in the living room (with my coffee & Vogue) and listening to Edith Piaf on le pod. During those moments when I wasn't sipping or reading I was romanticizing thoughts of living somewhere else or just being somewhere else at that moment. I've been doing that a lot lately. Perhaps it's because I have no job so I'm left with a lot of time to entertain potentially lethal thoughts. This is probaby indicative of some sort of change heading my way. A lot of people told me not to expect some great moment where everything comes to me. I consider myself a realist for the most part and I'm not one to wait for "the next big thing." But I guess I can argue that something feels different here. And I think some big thought is brewing in my brain (I just don't know what it is yet). I only wonder when this does happen will I have to tear down my apartment building then rebuild it in order to gain control of all the change?

chitter chatter

I'm getting better at weekend blogging. Since I have no ambition to do anything anymore, this makes sense. I like to get up on Saturday, make coffee, grab a magazine and zone out until the evening where I freak out about not having any "real plans." I then go on to say that:

a) my life sucks
b) i'm lonely
c) this would be better if i lived somewhere else
d) i feel gotic
e) i wish my friends were here
f) i hate men
g) why can't life be simple like when i was in high school
h) i hate people
i) i want a drink
j) i'm over this, i'm going to bed

Crazy. Mixed emotions.

Saturday blogging is fun. It's like Saturday cartoons, only I'm in complete control. I'm starting to like things this way--me in control. When I'm in control (and have lots of coffee) I avoid freak outs.

new discoveries

It takes a long time to distinguish those things that you genuienly enjoy from those things that are, just ok. I've made a few new discoveries lately. I'm getting more in tune with what I do and don't like. Since I often wallow in a lovely little place called negativity, I'm going to avoid telling you what I dislike and spend some time talking about what I am enjoying these days.

Music: Currently enjoying the crass lyrics of Mikey Avalon (itunes download) & the Marie Antoinette Soundtrack

New Found Passion: I have two--deep v-neck tee's from American Apparel & Voluspa Candles (scent Persimmon)

New and Oddly Fulfilling Pasttime: Getting up alone on Saturday, making coffee and reading Vogue

New Found Treat: Cheese & Herb Croissant from Myth Cafe ( i really enjoy their coffee too)

New Discovery (that comes with age): It's ok to disagree wtih someone to their face & day drinking (less of a hangover)

New Libation: Grapefruit Mimosas

dining in fantasyland

New methods are always welcomed if you ask me and that is why I took Bart to work (that and I can't afford gas). Taking Bart isn't exactly new for me, but it never ceases to refresh. Over the weekend my October issue of Elle arrived so I toted it along today for riding reading material.

After reading this article about "not-so-perfect" wifery, I came across a really cool Q&A with CFDA Womenswear Designer of the year, Costa del Soul. They asked him "Who are your fantasy dinner party guests?" What a great question. I marveled at this. His answer: Picaso, Maplethorpe, Diana Vreeland, Elizabeth Taylor, Harry Potter, Louis Armstrong, and Diana, Princess of Wales.

All day I've been thinking of my fantasy dinner party guests...I think I have an idea of who I would invite.

-Truman Capote (that's a given--damn he was a partygoer & he could hold his liquor)
-Audrey Hepburn
-Mary Shelley
-Billie Holiday (for sassy entertainment)
-Diane von Furstenburg
-Johnny Depp (he's nice to look at)
-Coco Chanel
-Andre Leon Talley
-Humbert Humbert
-Yves Klein (i love blue)
and
-a few of my refined friends (but that's not fantasy)

Before meeting in a grand dining room--the one with 12 ft. ceilings, brocade dining chairs and a table fit for a queen--we'd lounge around the sitting room on decade sitting poufs, drinking Campari, sidecars & manhattans--maybe even Veuve Rose, while enjoying canapes for hors d'overs, and talk about two of my favorite things--literature and fashion! Tres magnific...Can I move to fantasy land?